Are you a narcissist magnet?

Nine years ago, I had a colleague that was pretty sure a Narcissist. Yes, she was the Assistant Manager,  a goal-oriented person, but with no concern for others. She was a control freak, manipulative, a finger pointer, exaggerated, always demanding special treatment, respect, and privileges. She was on the power trip. She has often targeted one person at a time until he/she quits, then employees turn over rates became high in that company.

This narcissist created a traumatic environment in the workplace and degrading the other employee’s capabilities. I recalled one of our employees having a gas and bloating problem and sleeplessness nights because of the stress she experiences every day. Another one, who always scolded because she was pregnant and tends to eat a lot in the office. These people are just one of the examples who quits their job because they cannot handle the narcissist anymore.

For five years working with this kind of person, I have experienced to be feeling frustrated and angry, but became stronger and a fighter. How did I deal with her after years of adjustment?

I complained about her to the big boss. I just make sure he knows what’s going on.

When she tried to pick on me, I never cried in front of her, that never happened. Don’t let the narcissist see your weakness because they feed on and controls these types of responses.

I don’t take her personally, though it was really hard sometimes. When she commented negatively about me, I always convince myself that there’s nothing wrong with me at all.

Always be professional. I tried to compose myself every time we had a fight because I believe I am more normal than her. I believe, the narcissist usually zeros in on people who are performing better than them at work.

Never ignore the narcissist.  This seems opposite from what some people told to just ignore them and don’t react if they are abusive. They’ll move on to another target; Well, I  I argued with her if necessary. Maybe because I can’t stand to be abused.

I never expected her to be my friend, so I didn’t buy her drama when she shows empathy or compassion.

Get everything in writing. This was my defense when the narcissist asked me to do something verbally, especially if it’s a major task.

I never give personal information or opinions to the narcissist about myself and others.

To be honest, narcissists are not pleasant to deal with, no matter how much you tried,  they are still highly conceited as if it is part of their system.  To avoid long headaches and stress in dealing with them, find alternative solutions for your own comfort. Goodluck.


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