BECAUSE IT WAS ALL MY CHOICE

Because it was all your choice” When I heard this from the drama I have been watching, the impact made a huge realization for me, something shuffled inside. As soon as I want to defend myself by any circumstances, I feel like it’s too late to contempt.

My life had always been defined by following my elders. Though I was partly a black sheep in the family, still my response was not to actually listened but followed them out of frightened and respect. My father was very persistent with his rules, while my mom’s influence in making a decision was a plus, I couldn’t do much about what I wanted to do.

Looking back on my life, I have so many things that I disliked. The school I have attended, the course I have studied, the marriage I have never prepared and even working here abroad. All the decisions I made have the major influenced by people around me, they’d asked me what I wanted, but still what they want must follow.

Every time I don’t like my life and struggles for some reasons, I always blamed those people whom I thought the ones who made my life unpleasant. I had all the excuses in this world when unfavorable circumstances came.

But then, I realized thatI do always have a choice. Whatever I did in the past were all my choices. 

It was my fault that I didn’t fight for what I want,  my bad for just sayingyesto other people’s opinions and ideas. It was my mistake that I thought I am helpless and couldn’t stand for my own beliefs and for agreeing anything was arranged without even battling.

Because it was all my choice” 

I have to take ownership of what’s going on in my life. Though it will not guarantee to lead me to the destination I want, at least I know now that whatever changes my life is isn’t because of coincidence or from other people’s judgment, but from my own choice. I have only to be blamed for the life that I have created because everything was my choice and have to be responsible for it.

 

Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.

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