My grandmother constantly visited me in my dreams with a different scenario. Most of the time she just looked at me, silently saying, I’m just here watching you. One time, she appeared in my sleep, scolding me for not cleaning her house and even asking me to cultivate her empty garden. I had so many dreams of her that sometimes I forgot the whole thing. It crossed in my mind too that I might be dying, that her soul presence signifies I’m about to go to my final rest.
At first, it freaks me out. Religiously, I assumed maybe she still didn’t cross over and have some issues to resolve, or maybe I need to offer some prayers or petition for the soul. But later, I just realized, I’m quite lucky to see her in my dreams because not even my dad who missed his mother a lot never seen her for a long time.
Last night, my grandma came in my sleep again. I was a little anxious and worried at the same time. I saw her with another person whom I can’t recognize the face. In my dream, she clearly instructed me to pray for my grandfather (dead) and told me not to stop the prayer. Her appearance was fresh and seemed so alive that I couldn’t even say NO.
Pray for my grandfather’s soul. Another mission for me? why she can’t ask her children to do it? and why me? Is it because I am not close to him? that when he was still alive, I hated him because he talked a lot of bad things about my mom? and he hurt me most? was it because when he suffered from a disease I just stared at him and never sympathized? or because when he died, it never ached me at all?
I felt so sorry for him that he can’t rest after all this year. And though he never apologizes-not even in my dream, I will try to condone him. I could only offer a genuine prayer for his soul when I can be able to forgive him.
So help me, Lord.