I Appreciate you being a sport minded person. From wrestling and boxing as your passing hobbies, then basketball, which we both liked and you enjoyed most.
This time, I allowed you to join the Taekwondo training thinking it would only be a past time for you, but when you asked my permission to join the school tournament as a representative of your level, I never say YES. We argued about it and you are mad at me.
I don’t care if you’d think I never supported you. How can I allow my one and only to get hurt with kicks and punches and who knows what will happen out there? Call me selfish, but I just love you that I couldn’t even bear to think you would be physically hurt. You knew my reasons, and it will never change.
As a Parent, we encourage our kids to do the things they truly enjoyed and promise them to support in any ways we can, but what if we don’t agree in the dreams they have chosen? and they thought we are the one who’s blocking their path to success?
Truly, it is a challenge to guide them while being objective about our own feelings as a Parent.
Do you have kids who drastically change their behavior when they become teenagers?
My son’s behavior becomes a problem after he reached the age of 14. Sometimes it confused me if his manner is appropriate to his age or just because he’s in the process of development. I am baffled between ignoring him or punishing him. Remaining calm and telling him what is right seems to give him an extra tantrum too. He appears to be controlling, and just wanted us to ignore him all the time.
When we tried to correct him or made some remarks when he did something bad, he usually does the smart mouth talking which is really, really annoying. He has no control of his anger at all. He says what he wants to say even though it shows disrespectful and rudeness.
I really wanted to lock him in the box and just release him when he’s at the age of maturity or place him back on my tummy. You can’t stop thinking about silly things, especially when you expect him to give you strength instead of draining your remaining kindness and putting you to the limits.
How hard is it to become a Parent? I know it’s more than words to explain. I realized and imagine how my Mom and Pops suffered too when I was in my age of rebellion. I think I am paying the price now.
With prayer, I am hoping that he will settle better than me, that he will discover more good things about people, that time will take his side to mold him into a better, kinder, respectful and considerate man I am praying him to be.
My last vacation in the Philippines was quite peaceful and sweet. Most of the time, I stayed only at home and hanging out with my son. It was not really an extravagant vacation as what other people expected. In fact, It was really my plan to spend my 35 days with my family especially with my kid.
During my entire break, I have seen some changes with my son. He is no longer my baby, but not quite a teenager too. He doesn’t want to be kissed and hugged in the public. We don’t walk together holding hands, but he just put his arms around me. He keeps on checking with my schedules when he was at school and never skip a day without following me around.
We both still love watching movies and do some food trips. He never has the patience to wait for me when I do shop. He’s not a branded person, to buy a casing for his cell phone is a major spending for him. Still, he doesn’t want me to wear shorts and sexy dresses. When I put some dark eyebrow makeup, he said ew, that I don’t look good at all. He just wanted me to be simple and unnoticed.
We never stop talking about this and that. He still sleeps in my room. I always reprimanded him for being lazy and giving too much attention to his mobile and play station. I am happy that he has good friends around, who helped him to improve his personality from being a killjoy to cool guy. See, he talks with my friends now, unlike before. Yes, still he has his mood swings, but it becomes irregular now.
We still argue and fight, but we knew we always have each other.
If I am still in the Philippines today, he would be my pretty date.
Who says Valentine’s Day is exclusive only for lovers? We can date anyone!
My 14 year old son begged me not to force him to join in one of the school activities that his teacher and grandmother asked him to participate. He was on the verge of desperation, as if I am the last person who would save him that whatever my decision would be, he has no choice, but to follow it.
I appreciated that, despite our long distance situation, I am still in the picture that he still comes to me not only in times of delight, but more importantly in his needs of someone to understand him. Back to the story, I asked him a lot of questions regarding his issue, to be honest there was nothing wrong about it, I might convince him too to participate, but I chose not.
I told him I would not force him to do what he doesn’t like as long as it will not affect his grades and performance at school. I will respect his decision as much as possible too. He was relieved, then calls me the best mom ever.
What struck me most was the last message he sent me before saying goodbye, he said, “It was right that children should respect their Parents, but Parents should respect their children too.”
Wow. I stopped for a while. He was aware now that RESPECT is a too way street.
Yes, it is a challenge for me to step back a little while staying connected to this grown-up kid because I know one day he will be determined to live his life in his own way and, probably I will be needing more understanding too that “we are alike, not in personality or character, but as a person.”
He was seven years old in this picture, never thought he would grew so fast.
What is good Parenting? What does it take to be a good parent today, especially if you work abroad and away from your children?
They said, the best thing to spend on your children is your time. You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. How am I supposed to react to this? Can single parenting lend an excuse from this unwavering quote?
I feel so unjustly right in this kind of situation, but extra suffocating when others think that my means to liven up my family is a mistake. How it became a fault when you only desired for them to have a comfortable life? Am I a bad parent if my children didn’t reciprocate my sacrifices and become one problem of our society? How can we justify this? How can I become a good parent out of this?
My 14 year old, claiming himself as a good son.
Having a long distance relationship with my son is crucial and painful. It took him a lot of courage and wide understanding of the situation. He became someone not on his age to soothe these things out, but so far he handles it with good care.
I would accept that there is always lack of physical attention to each other. I have the guilt in my gut and do self-loathe all the time, but I wonder if I don’t have the ability and desire to give him a promising future, where he could be? Is just love enough by equipping to raise him? How can you call love without sacrifices?
Parenting will not teach you how to become a good parent, but it will teach you how to fail and stood up, and that is my badge.
It is vital that when educating our children’s brains that we do not neglect to educate their hearts. —The Dalai Lama
I’m going to be blunt. Asshole. Stop breaking my son’s heart.
My son was really annoyed to his father yesterday that he unfriend him on his Facebook. Before that, he was able to tell him this words; “You made a son, but you don’t even know how to support.” Words that I couldn’t say it to his father’s face, but he did it on behalf of me. He may be sound bad-mannered, but I have respected his feelings. Why? Because he is my son and he has been through a lot growing up without a father’s love and connection.
Asshole. Do you not realize the damage you are creating for him? Instead of making up the lost time, showing him your remorse, building a new relationship with him and presenting your love, you choose to hurt him and made him agitated. You should have called him all the time, especially on his last birthday and chat him every day. Of course, you didn’t do that because you are an asshole.
Don’t ever try again to break him. It’s been twelve years I have been trying my everything to make him a happy person. I will not allow you to hurt my little boy, not ever again.
AES: I’m going to have a heart attack seeing these grades!
SON: All the subjects are getting harder.
AES: That’s not the issue!
SON: Even our top 1 student, she went down to top 3.
AES: I don’t care; she’s not even my daughter.
SON: See, if you will add all my grades and DIVIDE them to 9, my total average is 86! I passed.
AES: So you like Math now??
I haven’t talked to my son for two days now, he really pissed me off. And of course, I want him to realize that I am mad.
I know his capacity; he has a bright mind, but he doesn’t have a study habit at all. That’s what we always struggle.
Two weeks ago, it was their third grading exam. I called him from overseas to check on him if he was studying. He said he is about to start. After 30 minutes, I called him again and he said he was done studying. I was like wtf? 30 minutes? I ask too many of Why’s, and he just answered that he has a computer mind, can save everything.
I don’t know if I was to laugh or scold him again. I just don’t have the energy anymore. Can I divide my responsibility to anyone? Sigh.
One more time, one summer time I will spend it with my Son. Knowing that I couldn’t go home next summer, I wish I had spent all my day with him, traveled more to places he likes & never argued with him all the time.