Category Archives: ABOUT MY SON

Can I Carry You?

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I guess that I can hold you
one more time before you grow
and tell you that I love you
so that you will always know.

Please let me tie your shoe again.
One day you’ll tie your own.
And when you think back to this time
I hope it’s love I’ve shown.

Can I help you put your coat on?
Can I please cut up your meat?
Can I pull you in the wagon?
Can I pick you out a treat?

One day you might just care for me,
so let me care for you.
I want to be a part
of every little thing you do.

Tonight could I please wash your hair?
Can I put toys in the bath?
Can I help you count your small ten toes
before I teach you math?

Before you join a baseball team
can I pitch you one more ball?
And one more time can I stand near
to make sure you don’t fall?

Let’s take another space-ship ride
Up to the Planet Zoor.
Before our Cardboard Rocket
doesn’t fit us anymore.

Please let me help you up the hill.
while you’re still too small to climb.
And let me read you stories
while you’re young and have the time.

I know the day will come
when you will do these things alone.
Will you recall the shoulder rides
and all the balls we’ve thrown?

I want you to grow stronger
than your Dad could ever be.
And when you find success
there will be no soul more proud than me.

So will you let me carry you?
One day you’ll walk alone.
I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until you’ve grown.

PAYING THE PRICE.

Do you have kids who drastically change their behavior when they become teenagers?

My son’s behavior becomes a problem after he reached the age of 14. Sometimes it confused me if his manner is appropriate to his age or just because he’s in the process of development. I am baffled between ignoring him or punishing him. Remaining calm and telling him what is right seems to give him an extra tantrum too.  He appears to be controlling, and just wanted us to ignore him all the time.

When we tried to correct him or made some remarks when he did something bad, he usually does the smart mouth talking which is really, really annoying. He has no control of his anger at all.  He says what he wants to say even though it shows disrespectful and rudeness.

I really wanted to lock him in the box and just release him when he’s at the age of maturity or place him back on my tummy. You can’t stop thinking about silly things, especially when you expect him to give you strength instead of draining your remaining kindness and putting you to the limits.

How hard is it to become a Parent?  I know it’s more than words to explain. I realized and imagine how my Mom and Pops suffered too when I was in my age of rebellion. I think I am paying the price now.

With prayer, I am hoping that he will settle better than me, that he will discover more good things about people, that time will take his side to mold him into a better, kinder, respectful and considerate man I am praying him to be.

Goodluck.

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Laugh Out Loud

Life is better when we are laughing 🙂

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Love Letter

My mom told me that one of her friends in their religious group has the spiritual gift of vision.  This friend had seen in her revelation that my son will always be chased and courted with girls, which is the opposite of our traditional way of dating.

When we heard it, my son gave me a wink and pleasant smile, while I was totally feeling uproar. Later, I was just smiling of the thoughts and forget it, whether it can be true or not, at least her vision serves as a look out. I really don’t mind if girls will like him or get crazy for him, but I am just nervous that he might fall to the wrong ones. Oops, sorry, just carried away.

Well, James got his first love letter when he was 13 years old. A girl handed it to my mother with a bracelet, asking her to give it to him as a gift. My mom was really laughing so hard that she became the messenger in an instant.

He didn’t reply to her letter and just ignored the gift too. He said, he doesn’t like her, he was turned off.  I know,  because he likes someone else 🙂

15 years

Happy Birthday to my one and only.  

I ❤❤❤ YOU

My last vacation in the Philippines was quite peaceful and sweet.  Most of the time, I stayed only at home and hanging out with my son. It was not really an extravagant vacation as what other people expected. In fact, It was really my plan to spend my 35 days with my family especially with my kid.

During my entire break, I have seen some changes with my son. He is no longer my baby, but not quite a teenager too. He doesn’t want to be kissed and hugged in the public. We don’t walk together holding hands, but he just put his arms around me. He keeps on checking with my schedules when he was at school and never skip a day without following me around.

We both still love watching movies and do some food trips. He never has the patience to wait for me when I do shop. He’s not a branded person, to buy a casing for his cell phone is a major spending for him. Still, he doesn’t want me to wear shorts and sexy dresses. When I put some dark eyebrow makeup, he said ew, that I don’t look good at all. He just wanted me to be simple and unnoticed.

We never stop talking about this and that. He still sleeps in my room. I always reprimanded him for being lazy and giving too much attention to his mobile and play station. I am happy that he has good friends around, who helped him to improve his personality from being a killjoy to cool guy. See, he talks with my friends now, unlike before. Yes, still he has his mood swings, but it becomes irregular now.

We still argue and fight, but we knew we always have each other.

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If I am still in the Philippines today, he would be my pretty date.

Who says Valentine’s Day is exclusive only for lovers?  We can date anyone!

Happy ❤❤❤ day to all 🙂

Little Family

From James

It was the year 2012 when my son drew and gave this to me before the day I went back to Dubai from my vacation in the Philippines.

I wonder what he will give me this year.

Mommy, respect me.

My 14 year old son begged me not to force him to join in one of the school activities that his teacher and grandmother asked him to participate. He was on the verge of desperation, as if I am the last person who would save him that whatever my decision would be, he has no choice, but to follow it.

I appreciated that, despite our long distance situation, I am still in the picture that he still comes to me not only in times of delight, but more importantly in his needs of someone to understand him. Back to the story, I asked him a lot of questions regarding his issue, to be honest there was nothing wrong about it, I might convince him too to participate, but I chose not.

I told him I would not force him to do what he doesn’t like as long as it will not affect his grades and performance at school.  I will respect his decision as much as possible too.  He was relieved, then calls me the best mom ever.

What struck me most was the last message he sent me before saying goodbye, he said, “It was right that children should respect their Parents, but Parents  should respect their children too.”

Wow. I stopped for a while. He was aware now that RESPECT is a too way street.

Yes, it is a challenge for me to step back a little while staying connected to this grown-up kid because I know one day he will be determined to live his life in his own way and, probably I will be needing more understanding too that “we are alike, not  in personality or character, but as a person.”

He was seven years old in this picture, never thought he would grew so fast.

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Badge of Parenthood

What is good Parenting? What does it take to be a good parent today, especially if you work abroad and away from your children?

They said, the best thing to spend on your children is your time. You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.  How am I supposed to react to this? Can single parenting lend an excuse from this unwavering quote?

I feel so unjustly right in this kind of situation, but extra suffocating when others think that my means to liven up my family is a mistake.  How it became a fault when you only desired for them to have a comfortable life?  Am I a bad parent if my children didn’t reciprocate my sacrifices and become one problem of our society?  How can we justify this? How can I become a good parent out of this?

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My 14 year old, claiming himself as a good son.

 Having a long distance relationship with my son is crucial and painful. It took him a lot of courage and wide understanding of the situation. He became someone not on his age to soothe these things out, but so far he handles it with good care.

I would accept that there is always lack of physical attention to each other. I have the guilt in my gut and do self-loathe all the time, but I wonder if I don’t have the ability and desire to give him a promising future, where he could be? Is just love enough by equipping to raise him? How can you call love without sacrifices?

Parenting will not teach you how to become a good parent, but it will teach you how to fail and stood up, and that is my badge.

It is vital that when educating our children’s brains that we do not neglect to educate their hearts. —The Dalai Lama

If You Could Stay Like That

“I remember years ago, you were so little then.
Sometimes, I can’t help but wish,
that you were small again.”

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STOP BREAKING HIS HEART.

I’m going to be blunt. Asshole. Stop breaking my son’s heart.

My son was really annoyed to his father yesterday that he unfriend him on his Facebook. Before that, he was able to tell him this words; “You made a son, but you don’t even know how to support.” Words that I couldn’t say it to his father’s face, but he did it on behalf of me. He may be sound bad-mannered, but I have respected his feelings. Why? Because he is my son and he has been through a lot growing up without a father’s love and connection.

Asshole. Do you not realize the damage you are creating for him? Instead of making up the lost time, showing him your remorse, building a new relationship with him and presenting your love, you choose to hurt him and made him agitated. You should have called him all the time, especially on his last birthday and chat him every day. Of course, you didn’t do that because you are an asshole.

Don’t ever try again to break him. It’s been twelve years I have been trying my everything to make him a happy person. I will not allow you to hurt my little boy, not ever again.

The truth is, you don’t deserve him.

 

Divide to 9

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AES:    I’m going to have a heart attack seeing these grades!

SON:   All the subjects are getting harder.

AES:    That’s not the issue!

SON:   Even our top 1 student, she went down to top 3.

AES:   I don’t care; she’s not even my daughter.

SON:   See, if you will add all my grades and DIVIDE them to 9, my total average is 86! I passed.

AES:   So you like Math now??

Son:  index

 

I haven’t talked to my son for two days now, he really pissed me off. And of course, I want him to realize that I am mad.

I know his capacity; he has a bright mind, but he doesn’t have a study habit at all. That’s what we always struggle.

Two weeks ago, it was their third grading exam. I called him from overseas to check on him if he was studying. He said he is about to start. After 30 minutes, I called him again and he said he was done studying. I was like wtf? 30 minutes?  I ask too many of Why’s, and he just answered that he has a computer mind, can save everything.

OMG!

I don’t know if I was to laugh or scold him again. I just don’t have the energy anymore. Can I divide my responsibility to anyone? Sigh.

In response to the Daily Prompt: DIVIDE

Happy 14th B-day

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Happy Birthday to my one and only.  Thank you for growing good, healthy and brave without me around.  Lots of love across the miles.

 

Colorful Love

There is nothing more vibrant than this heart made by my son when he was 5 years old.  It was full of love, enough to make me stand from the midst of sadness.

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In response to the Photo Challenge: Vibrant  This week, share a photo of something vibrant. Let’s wash the web with a rainbow of colors to keep the winter gloom at bay.

Loving Miles Away

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hahahha. Couldn’t say anything else, just love you too my labs!

Oops!

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Oops! sorry for bothering you.

 

Photo Challenge: Oops!

One Summer Time

One more time, one summer time I will spend it with my Son. Knowing that I couldn’t go home next summer, I wish I had spent all my day with him, traveled more to places he likes & never argued with him all the time.

I just miss my boy, so much!

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt:"One More Time"

Dear Little Boy

Dear Little Boy,

I have heard you’re doing well in school. You have to because I would blame myself for not helping you up in school stuff.

I know you have more friends now. At least you will feel less lonely without me around.

I am happy you have your grandparent’s right now; they can protect you as much as I want to.

Always be in a good shape little boy so that I will worry less every day of my life.

Please don’t blame me when some moments of your life you needed me and I wasn’t there. If I could just travel in a matter of seconds to be there with you, I’d love too.

When someone asked you about me. Thank you for you are smart to replied that I am here in a foreign land working BECAUSE OF YOU, I feel that I am not useless anymore the way I used to be.

I am learning that the purpose of my sacrifice is more for you and less for me, and that makes me a better person.

I’m sorry that I have to leave you and will leave you again. Please bear the space between us, embrace your loneliness with understanding, and forgive me by your love.

I am missing you so much my little boy, I will be back soon and we will make up the times. I am always thinking every day about you and I can’t wait to see and feel you again.

I love you as always,

Your Mom

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letter dated July 14,2009

Who inspire me most ( Day-11)

James when he was 7 years old.

James, when he was 7 years old.

Him, who inspire me, will inspire me till I get old and weary.

GROWING UP

“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow but guide them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway… let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”

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My son is a teenager now. I admit it or not, accept it or not, I am no longer his universe.  I always get sad that some things we used to do have changed already.  I miss the part of him growing & I have always prayed that someday we can we be together back home.  I know it is not easy to handle them in this stage, it requires a lot of love, understanding & patience.

I just miss him every single day!

READY TO LOVE

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