Etiquette for Mistresses
by: Julie Yap-Daza
1) Mistress is not Mrs. Know you place.
2) Even if he tells you he loves you more than his wife, don’t let that go to your head. As a rule, men are liars.
3) Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, Holy Week and his birthday.
Mistresses are also called “holiday orphans,”…
4) Be friend his secretary but avoid all contact with his driver. Unless your married man is carrying on with his secretary, she can be an invaluable asses in your relations or relationship with him-relations as in sex, relationship as in a working or living arrangement.
5) As tempting as it seems, don’t patronize the wife’s beauty parlor, jewelry shop, dress shop, or father confessor.
6) DON’T CALL HIM, WAIT FOR HIM TO CALL.
7) To be seen with him in public once is risky. The second time could be fatal to one of you. The third time is The End for both of you. Love is lovelier when it’s forbidden. Because it’s forbidden it’s supposed to be hidden.
8 ) Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not even after he recites a litany of her faults. Sooner or later, some mistresses feel so loved that they begin to think f the wife as the other woman.
9) Mistresses are kept bu rich men. But a mistress who is a woman of substance and independent means is better. (Translation: Don’t ask him for money.)
10) Be discreet. (Make sure he is not the type to talk in his sleep.) There is no fool like a fool in love.
11) Never travel together. Accidents will always happen.
12) When he breaks a date, charge it to fate, not his fecklessness.
13) Wives have their own networks of spies and amigas. It is helpful for the mistress to have her own. A chaperone is not a good idea, however. (Chaperones are passe. Besides, they talk.) Because of her position and location in the underground, the mistress is a lonely woman.
14) Mistresses don’t complain. They shouldn’t. It’s the wives, according to their husbands, who are always complaining.
15) Being No.2, the mistress tries harder. At the end of the day (night), she goes home without him. Or he goes home without her with a higher value that when they met yesterday.
16) Send him home as soon as it becomes apparent that he’s overstaying. What do men do after sex? According to conventional wisdom 10% smoke, 20% fall asleep, and 70% go home to the wife.
17) It is practical for a mistress to be linked to anther man, preferably her lover’s friend. In the age of the liberated woman, who needs a chaperone? Ah, maybe not, but she needs a beard.
18) If he is a public man and you’re thinking of staging an accident of running into him, think: How many accidents can I pull off in one month? Its womans nature to want to be loved and be seen as being loved.
19) Don’t make unnecessary enemies of his children. If you listen to mistresses and their stories, the world is full of love and short on loving.
20) Remind him to pay for everything in cash – dinner, flowers, perfume, champagne, pearls, diamonds, a microwave oven, etc. In God we trust but pay in cash you must.
21) Don’t use tears as a weapon. He’s probably had enough of that from the Mrs. Wives nag. Wives cry. If only for that reason, a mistress doesn’t use tears to get what she wants.
22) Resist the urge to be found out. For every action, the laws of nature decree an equal and opposite reaction.
23) Perish all thought that someday you’ll be No. 1. One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde
24) Married men who keep mistresses don’t like surprises, as a rule.
25) A man with a mistress leads a double life, his mistress only half life. Cheer up! A career will make you whole.
Life in the modern world has put women on an equal footing with men. There is nothing a man can do that a woman cannot.
26) Resist the urge to shower him with gifts. Evidence, evidence…! Love is not love until it is expressed.
27) When in doubt, disappear.
28) When all else fails, leave him.
There is no true in this kind of relationship. The same as a wife’s, you will fall out of love. The rest will come & go. It’s a wise to realize that like everything else, there’s an ending too.
Be a wise mistress. You should know that husband doesn’t belong to you.