LOYALTY

When my cat came to my life, it teaches me about love and patience, but when she departed, it gives me the loss. She's never been replaced with a new cat ever.

I think, she trained me about loyalty.

 

 

 

 

AGE DOESN’T MATTER

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This picture that I posted to my Facebook created a little discussion within our group. Well, my father also has spoken about my short-short. I'm in the middle with these two young and vibrant girls.  I think I am 15 years older than them, to be exact.

There are some people who are bitter enough to think that we should belong to a group based on our age, which I think is really nonsense. I believe, if you don’t have the list of friends that are older and younger than you, then you’ll be missing something good in this life.

Well, I have friends who are older and younger than me.  I have an oldie, but goodie and young, but lots of fun. Oldies are full of experiences and bring certain wisdom to me while the youngsters offer involvement in the current situations and create new ideas, plus, they will release your energy, bring you to life that you have almost forgotten.

So, I don't see any problems with this, having “all sorts of people" give me balance. I enjoyed being with them because I always have the liberty to learn something vast and new. I don't care if some people will criticize me that I am "trying"to be young, what the heck! Don't break the fun, yo!

And I'm proud of my age too because God gave me this long to live.  And to my basher, please don't think you are younger than me, I can still be able to wear my "short-short" than you.

I am 38 years old but young at heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ESPECIALLY FOR YOU

In the days of cell phones, Facebook and Twitter, letter writing can seem outdated. Even on birthdays, we tend to depend from Facebook notifications, Well,  I’m a little guilty of this.  I used to save all the birthdays to my cell phone's calendar and journal too, but lately, I was stuck into sluggishness wherein trusting to social media was the easiest way to remember and greet someone.  Well, in fairness, it is accessible expressly if the person is out of your reach and you can find them only through the internet.

So for this month, I started to give birthday cards to my two friends without greeting them in the Facebook.  I want to continue doing this old school style which I really enjoyed back when.  I really want them to feel my effort that is especially for them.

Well, I'd love to receive letters too, but I think I don't have any friends who are old fashioned enough. What about you? What is your style, are you the conventional or the modernist?

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WEATHER SICKNESS

Finally, Thursday is about to end. Tomorrow is my off from work until Saturday.

 

Usually, I got excited because I can stay out till dawn and sleep until night.  But today, I just wanted to go home and take some long, long rest.

 

This week is such an arduous for me; the work is very demanding, some people tend to be annoying and the weather is unbearable. It seems everything has joined to give me a combat. Because of this weather, which plays between 43 to 45 degrees every day with a high rate of humidity will really, really make you sick.

 

I am sick actually with colds and headache. If I tend to go out with this weather, I might collapse in the street. My morning walks have ended and I need to take a bus or train, but still never had the chance to escape the pestering sweats from Dubai weather.

Anyway, happy weekend to all. Stay away from illness and keep safe.

XOXO

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I was hiding in one of the stores while waiting for the public bus that will take me to my work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHUCKY DOLL

Chucky:If this is what it takes to be human, then I'd rather take my chances as a supernaturally-possessed doll! It's much less complicated! Think about it! What's so great about being human? You get sick! You get old! As a doll, I'm infamous! I am Chucky! The killer doll!

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I grew up with Chucky through watching all his movie since 1988. From totally feeling terrified, I became comfortable with his notorious killing to the point that he no longer frightens me. But, I just really like him, sounds weird? Some of my friends told me too.

When I saw the Chucky doll collection, I really wanted to purchase it, but the price is approximately AED 400 / USD 110.00 which is impossible for me to buy at this critical financial moment of my life. I’m pretty sure though, I couldn’t bring him at home because everyone hates him and it will be tragic for me to see that they couldn't love him enough.

So, just stay there, Chucky, for a bit of time, someone might buy and accept you for who you are. You will never feel alone again.Aja!

 

BONDING WITH WIFI

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Want some a real friendship bonding?

Stay away from your mobiles. For once, let's talk about me, you and us.

Honestly, I really don't like talking to someone who is pretending to listen to me while being busy playing with their phones. I get insulted. It lost my interest. It annoys me. It wants me to leave.

Why we need to meet up, then all we have to do is just stick our noses on the phone and taking pictures with sentimental captions like "happy to see them"? If you want to bond, let us enjoy the moment without thinking what is happening in the social media world. Don't ask the wifi password, challenge yourself.

If we can't do that, then shame on you, on me and on us. Let's stop this concealment and move on to our different lives.

I'm not happy to see you all  lost the essesnce of face-to-face interactions.

 

 

 

 

Talk soon, Extroverted Friend

I am overwhelmed by the unexpected openness from your letter. Though we never talked about it for a long time, I can imagine the courage you must have to put to let me know what is really going on inside of you, the things that I have never even pick a glimpse before. I couldn’t agree more that you are good at hiding everything. Sometimes, I confused you of being secretive or introvert.  I thought if I started to be open to you, you would follow my lead, but then I was wrong. My beliefs lead me to sadness.

When we’re still together before, I was really confused and asking myself what was really going on between us. I believed that you should be a man to stand for a relationship, but then, you weren’t able to do it. The truth is,  it doesn’t change me the way I believe in you from the first time we have met because I know you are still a good man, the good person I have known and a good friend to me when I needed you most . I have loved you for that.

I know what you are feeling before, your struggles of wanting to share something with me but left unspoken. At times, I really don’t comprehend what you are trying to tell, but still, I listened because I know that was all you need, someone who won’t judge you.

I firmly believe that there’s nothing wrong with you. You are still a person, that is you and nobody can change it. As long as you know who you are, it makes sense, there’s no problem about that. People can understand and accept you, but first, you must also do it for yourself, then everything will be fine. I want you to know, that I have accepted you of who you are,  it might not enough for you to realize before, but it was the truth.

Old memories are good to be cherished. Whatever you have experienced in your younger years just make it sure it won’t affect your entire life. Make up for your mom, start telling her the lightest things happening to you and you will just notice you’ll become closer to her again. She’ll be happy more than anyone in this world.

This must be tough for you, but please try to reach out to others. You can do it. We will never be friends if you didn’t make known yourself to me, right? if someone will invite you out, go, have fun, never sit in your dark room, and please stop drinking pineapple juice when you are out with the boys, they might think you’re weird. Order a beer, eat peanuts and get drunk till your head hurts. (I’m pretty sure you never tried this one)

I hope you are no longer feeling the blues now. Maybe some days it will come again, but at least you learned to sort it out. If things still difficult for you, please send me a letter, again and again, write everything you need to express. Don’t bother about what will come to my reaction, you know me, I don’t give a damn. Just write and write until the keyboard will surrender.  And please, don’t even think of dying again, I have already two friends died, I don’t want to mourn again.

Please do remember, that you are a good person, you never hurt anyone willfully, but please don’t hurt yourself too. You can still trust me, after all, we’ve been together for how many years as friends, more than friends, we broke up, still friends, went to our separate ways, we patch up and talked again. If you are not worthy and if you are not good enough, do you think we still have a conversation like this?

Smile and think of all the good things in life.

Take care,

Extroverted Friend

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PREVIOUS Yours, Introverted Friend

PRAY FOR MY DREAM

I thought that I could reach them.

The moments that I’d dreamed of. That’s why I walked confidently while holding onto some faith.  I thought that if I didn’t give up and keep going, that if I’d given it my all, I’d see stars before me and that I’d finally accomplish my dream.  I prayed every day as I only ever looked forward and ran and hoped that there would be a light at the end of this dark, dim tunnel.  I was consumed by hope and ran, and ran.

Yes, I wanted to see that bright light. It really felt like it wouldn’t be much longer now and that it was within my reach. But why, why do I still feel like I’m in the same place and that I’m lacking?

In order to run again, I have to endure and get back up. But there are so many parts of reality that are so hard to bear,  it feels like I’m being forced off my feet, onto the ground.

I’m trying my best to bear it because I don’t want to lose and this is a dream that I want to sacrifice everything in order to achieve. So why is it getting harder for me as I try harder? Why isn’t anyone acknowledging my earnest?  Why am I being toyed with? I don’t ask for much, I just want this one thing.

But as more time passes, all I want to do is sit in defeat.  Why should I have to accept the responsibilities that this world has created for me? Why should I have to endure all this pain? The world won’t leave me alone, and that isn’t my fault.

That’s what I’ve said, but all I’ve done was hide and run because I’m at a loss.

Lord Above, I beg you, hear my plea! And I hate that this is the only thing I can do.  

The only thing I can do is tread on thorns with my bare feet but I close my eyes and say, “I pray for my dream.” 

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OPS, AWKWARD!

That awkward moment when you’re late for work and trying to dash up inside the elevator to avoid being caught by your boss, and there, you found him.

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SUCK IT UP!

Since I don’t like to tell you personally what I really think about you today, I am just going to write you a letter in case you can pass this side. I cannot drop these words in front of you because I don’t like to create a wall between us, not this time. I am afraid you might not accept whatever I would say to you. So let me do this just to help the annoyance out of my system.

I hate the way you talk. Your voice sounds like thunder and I hate thunder.

I don’t like the way you interpreted things. You have always seen it in a very wrong direction. You don’t know how to infer it to positivity.

Please stop talking bad about other people. Personally, I don’t know them so I’m not really interested.

Kindly appreciate life. You have your husband and your daughter with you. You’ve got a job, you have a salary to pay your debt, your health is good, you ate more than three times a day and you are still breathing. Your problem is not that great compared to those people who had nothing of everything. So, please be thankful.

I know you are still a good person that is why I cannot tell you all this because I don’t want you to give additional burden and bad feelings. I am honestly listening to your woes and my bits of advice are genuine. But same as you, I have my bad days too. I just need you to shut up for a while, deal your own issues and give me some break.

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SINK OR SWIM?

There was a time when I was left on my own at work for 30 days and I need to do the job of others. Our company was facing a financial constraint at that time and there was no hope to hire someone new.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t able to resign because I was in my six months as newly hired and the possibility of visa problem might occur for the unfinished contract.

During those days was really hard for me. I felt like I have all the misfortune in life. I was expecting to carry all the duties without mistake, wasn’t allowed to get sick and most of the time I need to pretend that it was just all okay to avoid any problems or whatsoever was playing in my mind. The truth is, I hate it. I wished I could turn back the time and find some better atmosphere to work on.

But when you are in the situation where you can’t escape off or just got no balls to take the risk, you have only two options to choose;  to sink or swim.

I chose then to swim because I need to live. In order to live, I must endure. It was a tough job experience, but the lesson was very infectious.

Happy Labor day for all kinds of workers!

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I am ALONE. I am STRONG.

Such a long weekend, she thought. While everybody is planning where to spend the holiday, she doesn’t have any plans at all. Nothing seems to interest her nowadays, everything is repetitive and boring. At times, her mind was being cranky that she have known to the same people as if no one is new, nothing is to be excited about, she feels that she’s been trapped to same traces and faces. This feeling is not new to her, it always comes and goes.

Two days passed, she never received any invitations from her friends. No one bothered also to organize a getaway, well, she was the one who usually does the arrangement and her friends will just go with her plans, so how can she wait? For once, she doesn’t want to take the lead, she just likes to follow the trail.

When she feels her body is throbbing from sleeping, she got up, took a bath and went out.  She can’t stand it anymore. She has to be thankful for the free day and good weather. She has to do things even when being alone, enjoy it and never expected anyone to give her delight.

She ended the day with a little gratifying. She was able to go out, wander around and dine alone. Well, eating by herself outside is a challenge to her. While everyone is sharing the food together, it makes her a little bit lonely that she has no one to share, as much as possible, she doesn’t dine alone in the public, takeout is her ultimate comfort zone. But that day, she made it without feeling isolated in the middle of the crowds.

She realized that not all the time you can rely on to anyone. They said friends are always there to cheer you up, but these friends have their own life too. They have their issues to be solved, and days to relish by their own, they have kids and husband to take care of, they have boyfriends to please, they have work to finish, and same with her, they might suffer the same tedium she felt and just waiting for something new to happen. The world is not just revolving around her.

So be strong when this moment comes, because no one can help you, but yourself.  There is nothing wrong to be alone sometimes, it is the chance you can date and hang out with our own because there are so much to discover, learn and to love.

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NOTE TO SELF

Judge yourself. That is the most difficult thing of all. It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom. – Little Prince

It’s one of the best quotes I have ever read in the book of Little Prince. From that moment, I knew these words will serve as a guide. Every day, I faced with diverse people with different opinions, cultures, beliefs, and even religions. Because of this, I may tend to judge people as if I know them deeper.

With this quote, it helps me to remember to judge myself first with honestly before seeing the fault of others. We are not allowed to trample others existence, but to understand them and to be understood.

I am not perfect. I judged other people. I never liked some of them and sometimes pretending to like them. I am not certainly a woman of true wisdom, but I can learn, control and can follow what is right and not.

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I DREAM OF YOU.

A green, elongated, legless with deadly eyes has been chasing me for hours.  I know what it is. I know it can cause my death. I’m so terrified, I couldn’t even scream for help. I can still move, run here and there, avoiding to be swallowed, outing for my survival.  Then, unexpectedly, the poisonous eyes closed, down to the ground, wheezing and now it has been put inside the box; locked and isolated, probably lifeless.

I saw him. He had the bat. He strikes and killed the venomous snake.  He’s my knight in shining armor. I wonder who he was, he wasn’t familiar at all. I never had the chance to thank him, or even asked his name.

When he can still sense that I am still frightened, he unlocked the box and grip the snake out. With his strong hand, he jiggled it and said, “see, it’s dead”.

I glared at it, making sure it would never come back to me. But all of a sudden the dead serpent turned into a human being – the face of the person I truly hate; the gossiper, the traitor, the pretender and self-righteous ex-friend.

I know, she’s always been the serpent.

I woke up with the happy hiss. I’m glad she was dead in my dream.

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RESTING PLACE

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Let the pain have a rest,

Give your heart a minute to breath;

Show yourself a little respect,

Just break that stupid-stupid ache.

You are not alone,

Don’t do this on your own;

You have them and me,

Call us your home.

FROZEN HEART

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Are you ready for the Valentines Day? or will you let it pass just an ordinary day?

I don’t know what your heart has been through, but try to let it stay open and not to be frozen.

Here’s my heart for you  ❤❤❤

lelttw

酱爆,被压榨的人生

Jerry Brotherton

The Backyard Poet

Dana S. Bicks LLC, Author

Writer of adult inspirational books and the children's book series, "Dr. Peacock and Friends"

@DG

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