Be Proud Of Who You Are

Photo by: Badong

Come with no wrapping or pretty pink bows.
I am who I am from my head to my toes.

I tend to get loud when speaking my mind.
Even a little crazy some of the time.

I’m not a size 5 and don’t care to be.
You can be you and I can be me.

I try to stay strong when pain knocks me down.
And the times that I cry is when no one’s around.

To err is human or so that’s what they say.
Well, tell me who’s perfect anyway.

Poem by: © S Raine

YOU ARE NOT EVERYONE’S CUP OF TEA

"The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will simply not like you. But the world is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. The ones who you love you; they are your People.

Don't waste your finite time and heart trying to convince the people who aren't your people that you have value. They will miss it completely.  They won't buy what you are selling. Don't try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good health.  You are not for them and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours.

Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognize and appreciate your gifts, who you are.

Be who you are.

You are not everyone's cup of tea and that is OK."

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Talk soon, Extroverted Friend

I am overwhelmed by the unexpected openness from your letter. Though we never talked about it for a long time, I can imagine the courage you must have to put to let me know what is really going on inside of you, the things that I have never even pick a glimpse before. I couldn’t agree more that you are good at hiding everything. Sometimes, I confused you of being secretive or introvert.  I thought if I started to be open to you, you would follow my lead, but then I was wrong. My beliefs lead me to sadness.

When we’re still together before, I was really confused and asking myself what was really going on between us. I believed that you should be a man to stand for a relationship, but then, you weren’t able to do it. The truth is,  it doesn’t change me the way I believe in you from the first time we have met because I know you are still a good man, the good person I have known and a good friend to me when I needed you most . I have loved you for that.

I know what you are feeling before, your struggles of wanting to share something with me but left unspoken. At times, I really don’t comprehend what you are trying to tell, but still, I listened because I know that was all you need, someone who won’t judge you.

I firmly believe that there’s nothing wrong with you. You are still a person, that is you and nobody can change it. As long as you know who you are, it makes sense, there’s no problem about that. People can understand and accept you, but first, you must also do it for yourself, then everything will be fine. I want you to know, that I have accepted you of who you are,  it might not enough for you to realize before, but it was the truth.

Old memories are good to be cherished. Whatever you have experienced in your younger years just make it sure it won’t affect your entire life. Make up for your mom, start telling her the lightest things happening to you and you will just notice you’ll become closer to her again. She’ll be happy more than anyone in this world.

This must be tough for you, but please try to reach out to others. You can do it. We will never be friends if you didn’t make known yourself to me, right? if someone will invite you out, go, have fun, never sit in your dark room, and please stop drinking pineapple juice when you are out with the boys, they might think you’re weird. Order a beer, eat peanuts and get drunk till your head hurts. (I’m pretty sure you never tried this one)

I hope you are no longer feeling the blues now. Maybe some days it will come again, but at least you learned to sort it out. If things still difficult for you, please send me a letter, again and again, write everything you need to express. Don’t bother about what will come to my reaction, you know me, I don’t give a damn. Just write and write until the keyboard will surrender.  And please, don’t even think of dying again, I have already two friends died, I don’t want to mourn again.

Please do remember, that you are a good person, you never hurt anyone willfully, but please don’t hurt yourself too. You can still trust me, after all, we’ve been together for how many years as friends, more than friends, we broke up, still friends, went to our separate ways, we patch up and talked again. If you are not worthy and if you are not good enough, do you think we still have a conversation like this?

Smile and think of all the good things in life.

Take care,

Extroverted Friend

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PREVIOUS Yours, Introverted Friend

NOTE TO SELF

Judge yourself. That is the most difficult thing of all. It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom. – Little Prince

It’s one of the best quotes I have ever read in the book of Little Prince. From that moment, I knew these words will serve as a guide. Every day, I faced with diverse people with different opinions, cultures, beliefs, and even religions. Because of this, I may tend to judge people as if I know them deeper.

With this quote, it helps me to remember to judge myself first with honestly before seeing the fault of others. We are not allowed to trample others existence, but to understand them and to be understood.

I am not perfect. I judged other people. I never liked some of them and sometimes pretending to like them. I am not certainly a woman of true wisdom, but I can learn, control and can follow what is right and not.

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The Legend of the Blue Sea (K-drama)

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Sometime during August 1598, newly appointed governor Dam Ryung (Lee Min-Ho) stays for a night at an inn run by Mr. Yang (Sung Dong-Il). During that evening, Mr. Yang shows Dam Ryung a captured mermaid named Sim Chung (Gianna Jun). Later that night, Dam Ryung releases her into the ocean and, before she swims away, Sim Chung reaches out her hand to Dam Ryung which he briefly holds.
In the present day, Joon-Jae (Lee Min-Ho) is a smooth-talking conman with magician like abilities. He works with Nam-Doo (Lee Hee-Joon) and Tae-O (Shin Won-Ho). For their next score, Joon-Jae impersonates a prosecutor and swindles a large amount of money from a wealthy suspect’s mother. Joon-Jae then travels abroad and stays at an oceanside resort. Meanwhile, Sim Chung is swept up in a tidal wave and washed ashore near the oceanside resort. She sees Joon-Jae.

This drama is like my comfort food; warm and familiar.

The legend of the blue sea managed to bring the characters into satisfying portrayal. The relationship of the two main leads stands out as the finest legend of sweetness and impressive fairytale.

Though we have Lee Min-Ho and Gianna Jun’s combined talent, the story writing has not become the perfect drama at all. It was predictable, and though there was an appearing of slight twist and turns, still there was no element of surprise. It was just so enjoyable and relaxing to watch, avoiding you not to be pestered with any inconsistencies that weighed down from numerous episodes.

The finale of the show seized with lots of emotions, apparently with goodbyes and reunions,  plus lots of love and kisses. They wrap-up all with perfections, giving everyone a happy and satisfying ending.

I’m pretty sure you will leave the screen with a big smile and a happy heart.

Verdict: 8/10

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Victim of my own Optimism

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I have learned that lesson in the hard way, but most of the time it’s hard to pull yourself from the things you used to do. You just keep on giving your energy believing that someone is capable to change and got nothing but disappointments and dismay. I have tried to teach myself that not all people can change, that optimism has its own limitations, that I shouldn’t manipulate it. It’s an eloquent way of saying take people the way they are and not the way you want them to be.

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Happiness

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Do you feel like saying “I don’t care” to a few things happen in your life?

Don’t be too embarrassed if you made mistakes, because that’s who you are, imperfect.

Forget about what everyone thinks and says, the utmost freedom is when you never exchange your happiness over a mistake.

Happy Sunday everyone!

ALL IS NOT LOST

 

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“The struggle for acceptance is a struggle that begins with loss.

You may have lost someone so important that your life threatens to collapse into emptiness.

You may have lost faith in all-good, all powerful God.

You may have lost a relationship with someone who made you feel safe and good about yourself.

You may have lost freedom or control or a dream, shelter or safety or survival.

Search among the ashes of despair for the embers of courage.

God will rekindle your spirit.

ALL IS NOT LOST.”

Beautiful Mind (K-drama 2016)

Beautiful Mind. Beautiful story. Beautiful ending.

 

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I don’t know why this drama suffered from low ratings. I would say, it’s a hidden gem to be understood. Though they cut down the two episodes from 16 to 14 roughly, I didn’t expect it would wrap up well and timed. The finale was the full hit of bumpy rides with tears, laughter, hopes, forgiveness, retreat and reconciliation. Beautiful mind gave a sense of HUMANITY to appreciate life, MORALS, to believe what you can do for others and Norm ACCEPTANCE between what is unusual and not, for what you are and of becoming you to be.

I highly appreciated the amazing performance of our main protagonist Jang Hyuk, a genius neurosurgeon with zero sympathy or devour with social disorder.  You can see how he struggled his life to become one of us and to become a good doctor, despite how people treated him as a psychopath.

So, don’t be deceived by the ratings, the story is more original and captivating. It wouldn’t be perfect, but they have ended it with what truly mattered – the importance of humanity.

Verdict: 8/10

ANGER IS A POISON

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Number of people who couldn’t control their anger. If you watch their displays you will be rapt with how human is bound to unfold varied emotions, how fury prevents rational thinking, decisions made in haste and eventually regrets leads to suffering.

I was about to respond with anger to someone I really don’t like, but I choose calm and sanity. I don’t need to stoop down and meet the level of someone’s idiotic ability. Call me sadistic, but I rather see them in vast of anger while I live my life easily.

I think this is how it works;  make up your life to be in the bottom ladder of wrath or at the top of serenity.

I choose to be on top!

Watch me as I go.

Today is the last day of June and I can’t wait to end it very soon.

See, this month is a little catastrophe to me; Why?

I will be moving to a new room with five strangers around. The rent is cheaper to compare, but oddly, I feel like lost. Maybe because I used to live with persons I knew for years and this is really something new to me. I don’t know until when it finds me comforting about the sight of strangers at home.

I’m in the state of “hibernate friendship”. A friend was wrathful at me, believing that I bullied her for something which I don’t consider of. Whatever comes in my mind, I express it bluntly, if someone sees it as hounding then what shall I do? Do I have to always say sorry? To shut up? To choose my words? To bite my tongue?

I am most grateful if someone can tell me right into my face that they don’t like me anymore, or I have hurt them so I can apologize. It’s irritating to be ignored and to take silence because this is not the way I graft my life for.

This is so exhausting when issues stands unresolved , more wearing when I have no strength to protect the relationship, when promises are made to be broken. I might end up making a wrong decision, but this is how I take my way.

I am anxious this time to whether be myself or someone else. To be myself, then they will hate me, or to pretend someone else, but feeling sorry for the not being real.

I maybe lost control over everything in my head now, but I know exactly who I am. 

Take me as I am or watch me as I go.

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Goodbye Grumpy!

Let’s say if you have a roomie who is  grumpy and just concerned only with her own interest. Are you going to separate from her?

What if she’s going to leave you first and you have this “oh, I must be the one to do it” looks in your face, wondering what’s her real cause because you knew she’s quite a fibber and right into your very eyes you can’t believe her anymore. What are you going to do then?

When I was told that she wanted to leave the soonest, my mind burst with fury. Yes, I could have gotten angry in front of her, told her I couldn’t afford to pay the rent by myself or just fucking hit her, but wow I was able to calm myself.  My aim is to make her feel like a guilty child, not because I wanted her to stay, but to highlight that she wasn’t a big lose to my end.

After three days without so much effort, I found a new place to stay. I think it helps me to find nearly because I allowed myself out of negativity. How to avoid them?

Here’s the summary I got from wiki.

  1. CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS.  I reformed my thoughts to “I am free now from a grumpy person ever.”
  2. ACCEPT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and WHO YOU ARE.
    I don’t have to explain myself as long as I didn’t do anything bad from this situation.
  3. FORGIVE and FORGET. I think I can do this even if I start it with a fake smile and need to hold my tongue.
  4. DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE THINKING.  I go out, meet with my real friends, talk about it if necessary and jogged to release the tension. We could do so many things to distract ourselves from negativity.

  5. TRY NEW THINGS. MEET NEW PEOPLE.

    Goodbye Grumpy. Hope not to see you soon.

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How Far You Have To Go?

How far you can take when someone deceived you,
lie at you
doesn’t respect you
broke you into pieces.

How far you can unloved yourself,
for not letting go
for feeling sorry
for not minding your broken soul.

How far the heavens will wait,
for you to give up
to pray and surrender
to lift up everything Above.

Wake up my friend,
for your heart is a pity
and your soul is weary.

How far you have to go?

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Break up Pie

Daily Post: Humble Pie

Tell us about a time you found out after the fact that you’d been mistaken and you had to eat a serving of humble pie.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, knowing that he will never accept it, just as he always do. Then, he simply agreed to it & never come back again.

It was a funny mistake, but I ate a lot of pie!

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