“Don’t pull away from the rest of the world.
For those of you that are out there,
with no friends,
with no one to support you,
those who are being neglected.

You are never alone.

Somewhere on this earth,
there is ALWAYS someone who is there for you.

There is always someone that cares about you and feels your pain.
There is always someone that will understand your story.

Don’t be afraid to come out of your shell.
Don’t be afraid to interact with people.
Don’t be afraid to be who you are.”



Such a long weekend, she thought. While everybody is planning where to spend the holiday, she doesn’t have any plans at all. Nothing seems to interest her nowadays, everything is repetitive and boring. At times, her mind was being cranky that she have known the same people as if no one is new, nothing is to be excited about, she feels that she’s been trapped to same traces and faces. This feeling is not new to her, it always comes and goes.

Two days passed, she never received any invitations from her friends. No one bothered also to organize a getaway, well, she was the one who usually does the arrangement and her friends will just go with her plans, so how can she wait? For once, she doesn’t want to take the lead, she just likes to follow the trail.

When she feels her body is throbbing from sleeping, she got up, took a bath and went out.  She can’t stand it anymore. She has to be thankful for the free day and good weather. She has to do things even when being alone, enjoy it and never expected anyone to give her delight.

She ended the day with a little gratifying. She was able to go out, wander around and dine alone. Well, eating by herself outside is a challenge to her. While everyone is sharing the food together, it makes her a little bit lonely that she has no one to share, as much as possible, she doesn’t dine alone in the public, takeout is her ultimate comfort zone. But that day, she made it without feeling isolated in the middle of the crowds.

She realized that not all the time you can rely on to anyone. They said friends are always there to cheer you up, but these friends have their own life too. They have their issues to be solved, and days to relish by their own, they have kids and husband to take care of, they have boyfriends to please, they have work to finish, and same with her, they might suffer the same tedium she felt and just waiting for something new to happen. The world is not just revolving around her.

So be strong when this moment comes, because no one can help you, but yourself.  There is nothing wrong to be alone sometimes, it is the chance you can date and hang out with our own because there are so much to discover, learn and to love.



“I see where I’ve gone wrong.

I’ve been judging the circumstances of my life which are beyond my control. I’ve been comparing my broken soul with who I am and my past as the teller of what my whole life will look like. Neither are true. However my circular thoughts would say otherwise, and sometimes we have to observe ourselves beyond our thoughts and feelings–as they are often flat-out wrong.

At the same time, this life is just painful and hard sometimes, and I guess it’s OK to type that out loud. Just like I will type out loud when things change and life is better.

Everything is temporary.”





A girl with a sad eyes.


Can’t you see it in her eyes?
It screams more than words can say
Her eyes tangled with sadness
No one could ever guess.

She wishes that you could see
Her eyes beaming with bleak
You wonder, but let it be
Let her eyes shades of gray.

She doesn’t need you to speak
Because it makes her weak
Just give her a good blink
Then she dares to breathe.


Dear My Big Boy,

I am so sad today and I don’t know why. Something lures in my mind that impede me to work and move. Maybe boredoms hit me again and all I could ever think is you.

When I was in metro train this morning, I saw this little boy clinging to his nanny so tight. I couldn’t stop watching him till he was gone. I hate to admit it, but I don’t like what I have seen, it makes me so sick.

Perhaps I am sad because I miss you. And missing you is not simple to hold. And to hold you is all I want to do. And to do this thing are very impossible at this moment. And that makes me sad.

How I wish your near and we could go out and have some fun. I wish tonight we could sleep in the same bed together, do our pillow fights and end our night with the same prayer.

I wish.

Missing you,

Your Mom

(written Oct 27,2010)



Have you ever had the feeling that things get a little uninteresting, too blaring, but you can’t hardly hear, so much to think, but you can’t contemplate?

Have you ever lost your desire for something you considered adoring about?

Have you tried to ignore things that made you glad? Have you?

I have.

Lately, I lost interest in my everyday life. I feel like a zombie. I see the days as repetitive. Nothing is exciting, and there’s not a thing to make me feel excited about. I am so lazy to find the sunshine.

You might give me an answer that I have missed any inspiration. Then who and what will inspire me?

Work?  A must that I should not escape.
Friends? They are not always around, they have their own lives too.
Son? He gives me a headache for the past few days.
Shopping? Each penny is counted now a days, I have to save.
Food? It gives fleeting happiness. It makes me fat.
Alcohol? It offers me only short-term black out.
Love Life? It bores me.

I definitely don’t feel inspired. Let me check tomorrow again.






Dear Little Boy

Dear Little Boy,

I have heard you’re doing well in school. You have to because I would blame myself for not helping you up in school stuff.

I know you have more friends now. At least you will feel less lonely without me around.

I am happy you have your grandparent’s right now; they can protect you as much as I want to.

Always be in a good shape little boy so that I will worry less every day of my life.

Please don’t blame me when some moments of your life you needed me and I wasn’t there. If I could just travel in a matter of seconds to be there with you, I’d love too.

When someone asked you about me. Thank you for you are smart to replied that I am here in a foreign land working BECAUSE OF YOU, I feel that I am not useless anymore the way I used to be.

I am learning that the purpose of my sacrifice is more for you and less for me, and that makes me a better person.

I’m sorry that I have to leave you and will leave you again. Please bear the space between us, embrace your loneliness with understanding, and forgive me by your love.

I am missing you so much my little boy, I will be back soon and we will make up the times. I am always thinking every day about you and I can’t wait to see and feel you again.

I love you as always,

Your Mom

letter dated July 14,2009

Etiquette for Mistresses

Etiquette for Mistresses

by: Julie Yap-Daza

1) Mistress is not Mrs. Know you place.

2) Even if he tells you he loves you more than his wife, don’t let that go to your head. As a rule, men are liars.

3) Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, Holy Week and his birthday.
Mistresses are also called “holiday orphans,”…

4) Be friend his secretary but avoid all contact with his driver. Unless your married man is carrying on with his secretary, she can be an invaluable asses in your relations or relationship with him-relations as in sex, relationship as in a working or living arrangement.

5) As tempting as it seems, don’t patronize the wife’s beauty parlor, jewelry shop, dress shop, or father confessor.


7) To be seen with him in public once is risky. The second time could be fatal to one of you. The third time is The End for both of you. Love is lovelier when it’s forbidden. Because it’s forbidden it’s supposed to be hidden.

8 ) Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not even after he recites a litany of her faults. Sooner or later, some mistresses feel so loved that they begin to think f the wife as the other woman.

9) Mistresses are kept bu rich men. But a mistress who is a woman of substance and independent means is better. (Translation: Don’t ask him for money.)

10) Be discreet. (Make sure he is not the type to talk in his sleep.) There is no fool like a fool in love.

11) Never travel together. Accidents will always happen.

12) When he breaks a date, charge it to fate, not his fecklessness.

13) Wives have their own networks of spies and amigas. It is helpful for the mistress to have her own. A chaperone is not a good idea, however. (Chaperones are passe. Besides, they talk.) Because of her position and location in the underground, the mistress is a lonely woman.

14) Mistresses don’t complain. They shouldn’t. It’s the wives, according to their husbands, who are always complaining.

15) Being No.2, the mistress tries harder. At the end of the day (night), she goes home without him. Or he goes home without her with a higher value that when they met yesterday.

16) Send him home as soon as it becomes apparent that he’s overstaying. What do men do after sex? According to conventional wisdom 10% smoke, 20% fall asleep, and 70% go home to the wife.

17) It is practical for a mistress to be linked to anther man, preferably her lover’s friend. In the age of the liberated woman, who needs a chaperone? Ah, maybe not, but she needs a beard.

18) If he is a public man and you’re thinking of staging an accident of running into him, think: How many accidents can I pull off in one month? Its womans nature to want to be loved and be seen as being loved.

19) Don’t make unnecessary enemies of his children. If you listen to mistresses and their stories, the world is full of love and short on loving.

20) Remind him to pay for everything in cash – dinner, flowers, perfume, champagne, pearls, diamonds, a microwave oven, etc. In God we trust but pay in cash you must.

21) Don’t use tears as a weapon. He’s probably had enough of that from the Mrs. Wives nag. Wives cry. If only for that reason, a mistress doesn’t use tears to get what she wants.

22) Resist the urge to be found out. For every action, the laws of nature decree an equal and opposite reaction.

23) Perish all thought that someday you’ll be No. 1. One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

24) Married men who keep mistresses don’t like surprises, as a rule.

25) A man with a mistress leads a double life, his mistress only half life. Cheer up! A career will make you whole.
Life in the modern world has put women on an equal footing with men. There is nothing a man can do that a woman cannot.

26) Resist the urge to shower him with gifts. Evidence, evidence…! Love is not love until it is expressed.

27) When in doubt, disappear.

28) When all else fails, leave him.

There is no true in this kind of relationship. The same as a wife’s, you will  fall out of love. The rest will come & go. It’s a wise to realize that like everything else, there’s an ending too.

Be a wise mistress. You should know that husband doesn’t belong to you.


When I see you today smiling and seemed perfectly happy with your new family, I ached inside. Not because I am envious that you have finally made your life right, but because I feel like I am left alone. Until this moment I cannot decide which path should I take and it sucks a little bit.




– Judge yourself. That is the most difficult thing of all. It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.

– Conceited people never hear anything but Praise.

-Men have no more time to understand anything.  They buy things all ready -made at the shops.  But there is no shop anywhere where you can buy friendship.

-What is essential is invisible to the eye.

-No one is ever satisfied where he is.

-But the eyes are blind.  One must look with the heart.



What I like being alone is I don’t have to think other people during meal times. I can eat whatever and wherever I want. I can cook for myself or just go to the mall’s food court which situated only on the backside from my flat. Still feeling gratitude.



I am sick and i feel so alone.
I wish I have my mom beside me, a father would carry me, a son would make me smile or someone who would just sit beside me and console me that everything will be fine.

I wish I don’t feel alone tonight, but I am.