I thought that I could reach them.
The moments that I’d dreamed of. That’s why I walked confidently while holding onto some faith. I thought that if I didn’t give up and keep going, that if I’d given it my all, I’d see stars before me and that I’d finally accomplish my dream. I prayed every day as I only ever looked forward and ran and hoped that there would be a light at the end of this dark, dim tunnel. I was consumed by hope and ran, and ran.
Yes, I wanted to see that bright light. It really felt like it wouldn’t be much longer now and that it was within my reach. But why, why do I still feel like I’m in the same place and that I’m lacking?
In order to run again, I have to endure and get back up. But there are so many parts of reality that are so hard to bear, it feels like I’m being forced off my feet, onto the ground.
I’m trying my best to bear it because I don’t want to lose and this is a dream that I want to sacrifice everything in order to achieve. So why is it getting harder for me as I try harder? Why isn’t anyone acknowledging my earnest? Why am I being toyed with? I don’t ask for much, I just want this one thing.
But as more time passes, all I want to do is sit in defeat. Why should I have to accept the responsibilities that this world has created for me? Why should I have to endure all this pain? The world won’t leave me alone, and that isn’t my fault.
That’s what I’ve said, but all I’ve done was hide and run because I’m at a loss.
Lord Above, I beg you, hear my plea! And I hate that this is the only thing I can do.
The only thing I can do is tread on thorns with my bare feet but I close my eyes and say, “I pray for my dream.”