“I see where I’ve gone wrong.
I’ve been judging the circumstances of my life which are beyond my control. I’ve been comparing my broken soul with who I am and my past as the teller of what my whole life will look like. Neither are true. However my circular thoughts would say otherwise, and sometimes we have to observe ourselves beyond our thoughts and feelings–as they are often flat-out wrong.
At the same time, this life is just painful and hard sometimes, and I guess it’s OK to type that out loud. Just like I will type out loud when things change and life is better.
Everything is temporary.”
I couldn’t stop looking at him. He walks faster with his broken or deform leg or knee. I shame myself for complaining every time I walked with an extra mile with my perfect two feet. How could I? how could you?
Today, as I walk steady on my feet, I am grateful for being healthy.
My boss is always reminding me to try fasting this month of Ramadan. Honestly, I haven’t tried ever since the world begun, and it’s almost a sacrifice for me that I couldn’t drink water from time to time or eat my meals at the right hour since we are refraining from eating and drinking in front of Muslim people and in public.
I got it when he explained to me the benefits of fasting, both physically and spiritually. I understand too that there were more than 200 car accidents occurred just for the first day of Ramadan. I noticed some people got sick while fasting, I have told them to take medicines, maybe they can excuse themselves for this matter, but they don’t, so I never insisted.
I respect their ways and belief, even there is always an inseparable conflict with our religions. If you want the world to be at peace, then start from where you are and who you are with. It may seem hard sometimes, but we must do it.
What I’m trying to say is let’s respect our “own” ways of shifting our attention away from the superficial needs by cleansing our soul and focusing on spiritual concerns.
How far you can take when someone deceived you,
lie at you
doesn’t respect you
broke you into pieces.
How far you can unloved yourself,
for not letting go
for feeling sorry
for not minding your broken soul.
How far the heavens will wait,
for you to give up
to pray and surrender
to lift up everything Above.
Wake up my friend,
for your heart is a pity
and your soul is weary.
How far you have to go?
What do I do all day? To be honest, there is nothing significance, especially if there are no plans ahead. I just had a typical Thursday.
7:20 am – Waking time.
7:25 am – Still in the bed.
7:30 am – My coffee preparation.
7:35 -7:50 am – Shower time.
7:50-8:05 am – Dress up.
8:05-8:25 am – travel time to office.
8:26 am– reach in the office.
8:30 am -1:00 pm – at work
1:00 pm-2:00 pm – lunch break
2:00 pm – 2:30 pm – blogging, checking Facebook & chatting.
2:30 pm-5:30 pm – at work
5:30 pm-7:00 pm – at the mall, eye shopping.
7:00 pm- 8:30 pm – sumptuous dinner with my friends.
8:30-10:00 pm – at the mall with friends, just loafing around.
10:30 pm – reach my home.
11:00 pm – ready for bed.
11:00 pm – 3:00 am – Korean drama marathon
3:15 am – snoring time.
“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
I struggle to keep awaken my soul.
You might be thinking that I am insane, maybe you’re right. But if you will put your feet in my shoes then you will see what it is like to be me.
I remember one quote from book Eleven Minutes of Paolo Coelho which I feel that the words are for me. It says “ I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT LOVE. I NEED TO THINK AND THINK AND WRITE AND WRITE ABOUT LOVE -OTHERWISE, MY SOUL WON’T SURVIVE.”
I bet you get what I mean.